rant blog

Live And Let Bond Die

UPDATE: As of 15th Nov 2021 I still haven't seen the latest/last Bond and have no plans to.

stoic opinionsAmazon Prime's Rings of Power has just released to utmost derision from commentators, Tolkien fans (not shills or the access media ofc but the actual fans) and friends of mine who've seen the first two episodes. The advice below holds for this TV series and others as holds for examples below...

Another Bond film No Time To Die - the 25th official EON production - is about to come out and debate abounds about whether it will be a woke-fest and whether James Bond will end up being side-lined in his own film. Knowing I am a Bond afficionado - indeed counting a director of three Bonds among my friends - someone sent me this discussion Is Today's James Bond Still James Bond

Once Craig has gone are we then going to get a black Bond? A female Bond? An LGBT/tranny Bond? But at 25 plus films who cares?! Well, obviously some people care - the online fans care. But should YOU care? Even if you are a fan and you think they are 'ruining Bond', should you care? My suggestion as to how the producers could sidestep the issues of Bond in the modern era with all the problems that entails - including modern sensibilities - is to set the films in the past, just as Mad Men was. I did have the pleasure of knowing a Bond director but I don't have the ear of the current producers and doubt they would listen to that suggestion. And so the debates will rage.

The madness Of king George DVDThere is a simple answer: you don't like the directions the Bond films are heading? Don't watch them. Read the books. Watch and enjoy the old classics on Bank holidays on the TV or enjoy HD or BluRay versions if you need your fix. I have a load of old DVDs from the days when they would be given away as freebies in weekend newspapers. Charity shops sell them for cheap. The DVD on the left The Madness Of King George was free with the Guardian newspaper one Saturday.

This advice goes for any franchise you no longer enjoy, be it Bond or Dr Who or Star Wars (or indeed Amazon's The Cringe of Power). Do not watch them to engage in outrage porn. Save your energy. Save your time and certainly 'don't give money to people who hate you'. Your best defence is indifference. Would you keep going to a hairdresser if they once gave you a good haircut but no more? Would you keep going every time you needed a haircut just to bitch and moan each time about how they used to give you a great haircut but "now look at it!" Would you keep eating Sara Lee cheesecakes if they changed the recipe and now you find them too sickly? Would you try cheesecake after cheesecake, different flavours? Would you start a campaign to get Sara Lee to change their recipe? Or would you find a different cheesecake? Maybe Sara Lee are catering to customers with a sweeter tooth than you?

"It's disappointing to see films become pure entertainment, so that it's not an art form" Richard Linklater
care lessI have a friend I often discuss films with who is a Star Wars fan. In fact I have two friends like this but only only one regularly discusses the Star Wars franchise as it is now. He discusses the various films and offshoots eg The Mandalorian, including the characters running the film studios such as Kathleen Kennedy. As a longtime fan he is clearly invested. He follows the YouTubes and forums, possibly still nurturing a hope it may return to earlier form. My other friend, possibly an even bigger Star Wars fan, harbours no such illusions and rarely discusses it. She saw the last Star Wars film The Rise of Skywalker but barely discussed it at the time except to say "ugh! It was a mess". Probably a healthier attitude. I long since stopped caring about Star Wars or Bond or indeed Hollywood films in general.
[ UPDATE: I have seen Dune (2021) recently and still hold the same opinion. I won't be bothering with part 2. I can't even be bothered to blog about it. *If you want to see what I think of Dune look here*]

The denegration of these franchises is merely indicative of a deeper malaise. They have run out of ideas, hence the endless reboots. Shooting schedules full of 'capesh*t' of minor characters in the Marvel universe or whatnot. Films whose denouement is changed in the sequel by time travel... as well as an overreliance on CGI over practical effects, story and character development - hence the 'uncanny valley' phenomenon and general disengagement. I can't sit through something like Avatar without zoning out at some point, wandering off and doing something else. These type of films are the epitome of entertainment over art. And they don't even do a good job entertaining anymore. There's not much to differentiate Bond from any other modern franchise such as Bourne - spies, gadgets, explosions, with all these films rife with mind-numbing CGI.

After six decades, six Bonds and 26 films...James, It's time to die.

UPDATE: As of 24th December 2021 I *have* now seen No Time To Die. It didn't feel like a Bond film. It wasn't 'fun'. Didn't help that 'Bond girl' Léa Seydoux had a face like a slapped arse the whole film. Plot was muddled/made no sense. Long ridic video gayme shoot 'em up sequence near the end (Bond wearing a SHOOT ME! white shirt as he also did in Spectre while ridic escape from Blofeld's lair). There were some good (technical) bits but the film overall, a miss. HUGE miss. OHMSS, a 'golden era' Bond film this film recalls at times, had a sad/shock ending but the film up to then was FUN. It was a Bond film. Bond films are supposed to be FUN! They are NOT the books. I can't be bothered to review it further; If you want to watch an exhaustive (and frankly exhausting) analysis of how tiresome the Bond films have become - albeit bizarrely far too generous to NTTD- see here. I will merely echo what I wrote above; while apparently even some 'Bond fans' allegedly like this last Daniel Craig Bond effort, I am no longer the audience.

Our recommended films from the past coming soon - watch that space

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