I found out recently that 3 friends had died. Or strictly, two friends and an aquaintance. It was rather a shock, made worse by some guilt in not seeing them recently.
At some point it will be the last time you ever talk to someone. It might be due to death but it might also be due to the end of a friendship. I rather regret not making more of an effort to stay in touch with these now-deceased friends during and after the recent events. This regret was Coupled with acknowledging that other friends were monopolising my time and attention with constant sleeve-tugging. One only has so much time in the day after all...
How does one decide when that a friendship has ouytstayed its welcome? When the friendship has run its course or worse when the friendship is actually disadvantageous.
This is sometimes tied to a horrifying realisation that it was never a real friendship, or how a friendship should be.
Here's some questions to ask yourself regarding a friendship:
I had a friend who was constantly having 'drama' in her life. I'd known her for many years having once worked together and had always taken her as a reasonable, reliable logical, consistent type. However, recently she seemed more volatile; quick to take offence, always having spats with neighbours or work colleagues. Calling to rant about the latest atrocity to befall her. On the other hand when *I* had an issue and wanted to talk it through or just confide I got the trite 'it will be fine' -usually delivered via a meme gif which was especially galling. Her problems were big, real problems; mine were insignificant or a result of some childhood trauma and I needed therapy...
I mentioned this to another female friend after a falling out over some innocuous joke I'd make she's taken deep offence to. Was I in the wrong? No, came the reply; "she sounds like a drama tornado". I then reviewed recent events and then took a longer look and rather like the detective at the end of The Usual Suspects realised it all tied together. She had always been like that but I just hadn't seen it. I'd only got one side of the story, hers, and she'd always seemed the reasonable one.